Living with Merlin
by rubberglue
Summary: Gwen needs a place to live and Merlin needs a house mate. It's (almost) perfect.
1. Chapter 1

"So Aisyah, one month after meeting this guy, decides to move in with him," grumbled Gwen as she painted tiny flowers onto her toe nails. "And now, I have to find somewhere else to live. In this city."

"I've told you many times that you can move in here. God knows what Uther was thinking of when he left me this monster of a house. Who needs this many rooms?"

Lifting her eyes from her toe, Gwen smiled at Morgana. "It's wonderful of you to offer but we've lived together before. I still shudder at the memories."

Morgana threw a cushion at Gwen. "It wasn't that bad."

Gwen merely raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "We can be housemates or friends. We can't be both." Poking her foot at Morgana, Gwen wriggled her toes. "What do you think?"

* * *

Bright daylight. Check.

Well, sort of. Bright daylight was at a premium but the fact that it wasn't raining counted.

Crowded place. Check.

Albion and Swan was a busy little pub near the central business district, swarming with people in crisp, designer suits. She glanced down at the paint stained jeans she had on and grimaced.

Escape route. Planned to the nth degree, thanks to her paranoid brother. If he had his way, Elyan would be lurking around the corner, spying. In fact, Gwen quickly peered round the corner, just to be sure Elyan wasn't there.

Bring a friend. She would have but Morgana bailed out halfway, citing an emergency at work. Gwen was pretty sure the emergency took the shape of a sexy, IT executive with swishing hair called Gwaine.

Gwen checked her watch again. Five minutes more. Her attention drifted to the people gathered in the pub. High flying business people, she thought with a trace of disapproval. That her potential housemate wanted to meet here suggested he was one of them. She should have told Morgana no except that she was desperate.

"Gwen?"

Startled out of her thoughts, she turned to see a tall, lanky man with a wide grin on his face. He was dressed like everyone else in the pub, only his tie was askew and his hair looked as if between sleep and lunch, it hadn't seen a comb.

"Hi!" She stretched out an arm, "you must be Merlin."

His grip was firm and warm. "Yup. Great to meet you. Shall we go in?"

"We'd be lucky to find a place to sit."

"It shouldn't be a problem." He started to push open the door, and without thinking, she stopped him.

"If you don't mind, how about we grab a sandwich and sit in the park over there?"

She expected reluctance or begrudging acceptance. She did not expect his eyes to light up and his smile to get even wider.

"Stop it!" He laughed later, after they had finished their lunch, as he crouched on the bench.

"I cannot believe you're afraid of ducks! You're ten times their size." She tossed another bit of bread onto the ground, leading to another feeding frenzy.

"Seriously Gwen. This needs to be a clause in our housemate agreement - no ducks or anything with sharp beaks."

"Don't you think you're getting ahead of yourself? I haven't even seen your place."

He chuckled at that. "You'll love it."

Gwen did love it. It wasn't as large or fancy as Morgana's but it was well-maintained, cosy and Merlin had offered her the use of the spare room as a art studio. For the amount he was asking for, it was a fantastic deal.

"Told you that you'd love it." Smugness emanated from Merlin.

"You cheated by throwing in the spare room." Then she narrowed her eyes. "What happened to your previous housemate?"

"He was a pain, an arrogant clotpole and had no idea how to pick up after himself. And those are his better qualities."

"You threw him out?"

"You could say that. It helped that the house he was building was recently completed." Merlin shook his head as if thinking about his ex-housemate was as distressing as living with him. "So, are we good?"

"I think so. Just the paperwork."

"Good thing Morgana is a lawyer. She can deal with all that nonsense. I'll inform her about the duck clause."

"Great." She watched Merlin as he pottered about the kitchen, making her the cup of tea he offered. Despite his fancy clothes, he seemed really down to earth, slightly dorky and full of sunshine. The complete opposite of Morgana. "So, if you don't mind, how do you know Morgana?"

Merlin's face grew red. "Ah, well we met at a magic show. We were the two poor sods pulled out from the audience to be chopped into half."

"Oh my god," Gwen gasped. "You're the person she had this -"

" - incredibly short and hot affair with? Probably." His cheeks were practically glowing.

"Ugh," laughed Gwen. "I might know too much about you now."

"Hey!" He said as he placed the tea in front of her. "We shook on the housemate thing. There's no turning back now."


	2. Chapter 2

Morgana insisted on helping her move although Gwen wasn't sure why since (a) Morgana hated any form of labour and (b) Gwen had actually hired proper movers to move her belongings. Still, no one said no to Morgana so the two of them stood at the lift landing, watching as a pair of movers transferred her stuff from the van to the lift.

"There should be a rule that all men doing hard, sweaty labour must do so shirtless," said Morgana admiringly as one of the movers - Cenred, Gwen thought his name was - moved past them, a large box in his arms. "Look at his muscles move."

"Morgana," Gwen gasped, "Is this why you took a day off to help me move?"

"Don't be silly. You needed moral support and I, as your best friend, made the sacrifice to be here for you. The eye candy is just a bonus - god's present to me for being such a wonderful friend."

"Of course," laughed Gwen.

Gwen tried not to laugh when, during the ride up in the lift, Morgana kept glancing at Cenred's jeans-clad butt. "Aren't you dating Gwaine?" she whispered.

"Pssh. That's just an arrangement we have. I accompany him to his fancy company events and he pleasures me in bed. And I will say that he's very good at his part of the deal. In fact -" Morgana dug out her phone and quickly sent a text. "- I think I might be feeling lonely tonight."

Gwen was still watching Morgana surreptitiously eye Cenred when the lift doors slid open.

"Hey Gwen! Thought I'll take the day - oh Morgana." The grin on Merlin's face disappeared. "Gwen didn't mention you were going to be here."

"Merlin," Morgana purred, easily avoiding the boxes in the lift as she stepped out. "How have you been?"

"Good, as you well know."

Gwen frowned at the stilted interactions. "Uh, why are you two acting like you haven't seen each other in forever?" Behind them, Cenred and his mover partner started shifting the boxes into Merlin's apartment.

Morgana gave Gwen a look that suggested Gwen was being silly. "Because we haven't seen each other since that time he tried to poison me."

Gwen's jaw dropped. "Poison you? You might have told me this before you suggested -"

"I did not poison you! I can't help the fact that you have a weak stomach."

"I've eaten raw oysters before and I've never gotten sick."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Please, it was supposed to be a romantic evening. Why would I poison you?"

"Maybe because you wanted to end the relationship?"

Throwing his hands up, Merlin sighed. "Wouldn't a phone call be easier? Oysters are expensive. You're always so over-dramatic."

"Uh miss?" Gwen dragged her attention away from her best friend and almost housemate to shirtless Cenred. "We're done. Do you want to come in and check?"

"Ah good." She followed Cenred into the apartment and quickly took inventory of all the boxes.

"You need to sign here." A sheet of paper was thrust under her nose. Nodding, she took the pen from Cenred and scrawled her name on the line at the bottom. Then she pressed some money into his palm. Somewhere in between her doing all that, the quarreling between Merlin and Morgana had stopped.

Cautiously, she crept out of the apartment, telling herself if one of them was badly injured or dying, surely Cenred and his partner would have reacted. Instead of Merlin lying in a pool of blood, Gwen watched in horror as Morgana pressed him up against the wall and kissed him hungrily.

"I'm just going to unpack my things," she said to one in particular, shrugging when neither Morgana nor Merlin bothered to answer her.


	3. Chapter 3

Things she learnt about Merlin after two weeks

+ He was always smiling. Nothing ever seemed to get him down.

+ He loved tuna and desserts.

+ For a man his size, he ate a lot.

+ He was a complete and utter mess.

+ He and Morgana had some sort of enemies-with-benefits thing going on and the both of them thought that they were doing a brilliant job keeping it a secret. They were not.

+ Did she mention he was a complete and utter mess?

Having had a number of housemates over the past few years, Gwen was very familiar with the getting-to-know you bit of the whole process. The key to a successful housemate relationship was open communication, honesty, patience and pie. Which was why she was currently baking an apple pie.

"Smells good," called out Merlin as he entered their apartment. Gwen tried not to cringe when she heard Merlin shake off his jacket, then take off his shoes, dropping everything on the floor. That was number three on her list of things to discuss with Merlin.

Merlin wandered into the kitchen, casually tossing his bag onto the counter. Hopping onto the bar stool, he started to hum the theme from Kitchen Heat. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips.

"Stop it."

"You look as professional as the contestants." He grinned and waved his hands at her apron. "The apron, the thing in your hand."

"The thing in my hand?"

He shrugged. "I don't know what it's called. I do know you can do magic with it."

"Ha. Which chef do I remind you of? The sexy Italian chef? The British chef with amazing knife skills?" she laughed as she turned away and peeked into the oven.

Merlin made a show of thinking, then replied, "I was thinking more like the grumpy French chef. The one who shouts a lot."

Closing the oven door, Gwen spun around to face Merlin, hands on her hips. "What are you suggesting Merlin?"

"I'm suggesting that I'm not as dense as you think I am. There's something on your mind and if you're baking my favourite pie, then it mustn't be anything good."

Gwen threw the kitchen towel at him.

The pie was fantastic. The talk with Merlin, less so.

"So you're telling me that all your life, you've been this messy." She picked up the magazines Merlin had left on the sofa before sitting down and stretching her legs out on the coffee table.

"Don't put your feet on the table!"

Gwen gasped, withdrawing her feet after he smacked her lightly. "You throw your jacket and shoes all over the floor, leave dishes in the sink for days and never put anything back and you grumble about my feet on the table?"

"It's unhygienic," Merlin muttered. "At least, that's what my mother said."

"Unhygienic is your dishes in the kitchen sink!"

"I usually wash them within the week. Anyway, it's not that bad, really. I mean, it's just a few things here and there." Gwen watched in growing amazement as Merlin reached for the television control.

"Merlin! Being housemates is about compromise." Grabbing the control from him, she switched the television off. "I can't keep picking up after you! How did your ex-housemate ever survive?"

"He had a cleaning service come round every other day."

Gwen frowned. "I can't afford a cleaning service."

"Yeah, me too. You'll get used to the mess. I promise I won't mess up your room." He grinned. "Compromise Gwen. I don't complain about your ukulele playing do I?"

"There's nothing wrong with my ukulele playing!"

"There's nothing wrong with a little mess." Then he sighed. "Oh alright. I'll do better ok? And only because I like you. More than that prat anyway."

"Good," said Gwen smugly. "I thought I would have to bring out the big guns."

That caught Merlin's full attention. "What big guns?"

"If I told you, they won't be as effective." She smirked, pleased that she didn't really have to bring out the big guns. She might not mind crossing Merlin, but there was no way she wanted to get on Morgana's bad side.


	4. Chapter 4

Just as Penelope was about to confess her feelings for Lekisha, Merlin burst into the apartment, slamming the front door behind him.

"Gwen!"

She waved her hands in his general direction in an attempt to tell him to shush, her eyes glued to the television in front of her.

"Are you still watching 'Brighton Beach'?" Merlin flopped onto the sofa next to her. "I swear, if Brian doesn't get his shit together and apologise to Henry, I'm going to write a nasty letter to the producers. Anyway, you wouldn't happen to be out of sugar, would you?"

"Yeah," said Gwen, barely registering what Merlin was saying, her focus still on the television. "There's sugar in the larder." Then, as the ad break came on just as Lekisha was about to respond to Penelope's confession, she threw her hands up. "Of course they have to break for commercials here." Finally Merlin's request struck her. "So, what do you want sugar for?"

"What about butter? Do we have that?"

Shifting so she was looking at Merlin, Gwen stared suspiciously at him, her mind suddenly flashing back to the last time Merlin used the oven. To dry his jeans. "Are you thinking of baking something because last Tuesday was only four days ago. You're still banned from the oven."

He grinned, completely unrepentant, and flicked her nose. "Good thing you have a sensitive nose. But I've done it before and it works fine. Just needed to keep a closer eye on it."

Her responding smile was more of a grimace. "It's a good thing we still have an apartment to live in. What do you want with sugar and butter?"

"There's a new guy next door," Merlin said completely out of the blue.

The familiar 'Brighton Beach' theme played and for a moment, Gwen couldn't decide which was more compelling - Lekisha's reaction to the confession or Merlin's plans for the new guy next door that for some reason involved butter and sugar.

Lekisha won out.

"Ugh," Gwen said. "That wasn't satisfactory in the least. All that lying and scheming and Lekisha is all 'oh you love me! Let's kiss.' Why do I watch this show?"

Beside her, she could feel Merlin's amusement. "I don't know why you expect narrative satisfaction from a soap. Speaking of soap, perhaps we have run out of soap?"

Her annoyance with 'Brighton Beach' dissipated and she turned her attention to Merlin. "Ok, now explain the sugar, butter, soap and new guy next door connection because right now, you don't want to know what I'm thinking of."

"This morning, after you left, there was a lot of noise outside so I peeked and there were movers."

"Wait, does this mean that the chain-smoking old man is gone?" Gwen asked eagerly. When Merlin frowned, Gwen's hope deflated. "Oh, it's the young family who has moved out huh?"

"Yup. And I think I saw the new guy."

Merlin's tone and that slightly predatory gleam in his eyes told Gwen all she needed to know. "Merlin! You're sleeping with Morgana!"

"What? No – I mean – how do you know?"

Dropping her face in her hands, she sighed. "I can hear the two of you in the middle of the night. This is a cheap apartment. The walls are thin." Lifting her head, she laughed. Merlin's ears were bright red. "Oh Merlin," Gwen mimicked in a breathy voice, "harder –"

Merlin lunged at her and clamped his hand over her mouth. "You are such a perv, Guinevere!"

She bit the soft flesh of his palm, causing him to yelp then jump away. "Don't worry. One night was all I could take. The next morning, I bought myself a supply of earplugs." Pushing herself from the sofa, Gwen wandered to the kitchen. "I'm assuming that new guy must be pretty hot. Are you planning to woo him with some sort of homemade body scrub?"

"Body scrub?"

"You know, made with sugar, butter and soap." Gwen pulled open the larder and sighed. "Merlin, you were supposed to buy more coffee!"

"Coffee! Brilliant!" Merlin hopped off the sofa, moving quickly to the door. Then he stopped, walked over to Gwen and took her arm. "Come on. Let's go borrow some coffee from our new neighbour."

They stood at the door.

"You knock," said Merlin as he shoved an elbow into her side.

"This idea is yours. You knock." Gwen muttered. "Did I mention it's a terrible idea? The guy just moved in a few hours ago and you expect him to have coffee? Shouldn't we –"

The door opened and Gwen found herself staring at the largest man she'd ever come across. His biceps were probably the size of her thighs.

"Uh, can I help you two?" The giant smiled kindly. A gentle giant, thought Gwen, like the one in that Roald Dahl book she was forced to read when she was in primary school.

Merlin smiled. "I'm Merlin and she's Gwen. We live next door." He jabbed a thumb at their door in demonstration.

"We need coffee," Gwen blurted then wished the floor would open and swallow her whole. Why was she always like that when faced with attractive men?

"I'm afraid I don't have any." He smiled again. "I'm Percy by the way. Nice to meet you."

His handshake was surprisingly gentle.

"Well," said Merlin. "Great to meet you too. If you need anything – anything that isn't coffee – just ask. And, we'll leave you now." Then he practically pushed Gwen back into their apartment.

"He was hot," said Gwen. "Why were you in such a hurry to leave?"

"Yeah, in the I-spend-all-my-free-time-in-the-gym sort of way."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Not interested?"

"Wasn't any spark when he shook my hand. Pity."

"And when Morgana shook your hand –"

Merlin grinned. "I never shook Morgana's hand but the first time we –"

"Ok, forget I asked!" yelped Gwen as she darted into her room, Merlin's laughter chasing after her.


	5. Chapter 5

_Friday Evening _

Her tongue poking out daintily from between her teeth, Gwen gingerly lifted the box cover and peered inside.

It moved.

With a squeal, she jumped back, knocking over the bag next to her. Enough vegetables to feed her and Merlin for a week tumbled out of the bag.

This was not good. How was she going to look after an iguana for a weekend if every move it made caused her to jump? As if answering her question, Gwen heard the key in the door.

"Hey Gwen! Wow, that's a lot of vegetables!" Merlin let his bag slide to the floor. "Are we on some sort of salad diet for the next few weeks?"

Gwen immediately walked to Merlin, carefully positioning herself so she blocked the little box with the iguana in it. "You like animals right?"

"Uh, I don't hate them." Merlin frowned.

"And you owe me a favour, don't you?" Gwen smiled up at him. "When I helped you buy a present for Morgana's birthday, which you forgot."

The crease between his eyebrows deepened. "What do you have in mind? I did offer you this very good two-for-one coupon at Pizza Friend."

"I think saving you from Morgana's wrath is worth more than a two-for-one coupon you probably found in someone's car."

Merlin shrugged. "Morgana wouldn't have expected a present from me. It's not like we're dating. I mean, we did go out that one time and -"

"Merlin!" Gwen shook her head with a laugh. "I don't want to dissect your simple yet overly complicated relationship with Morgana right now. That's a matter best left for when we're half drunk."

"Fine. What do you want me to do for you? Would you like an introduction to my rich and handsome ex-flat mate?" Merlin grinned.

"What, no! I'm not desperate. What I need is for you to look after this for the weekend." Stepping away, Gwen gestured to the box. It jostled a little.

"What on earth -" Merlin shuffled closer and, using his little finger, lifted the top of the box. "It's a gigantic lizard! Where did you get this? Hello lizard!"

The iguana snapped at him. With a start, Merlin dropped the lid and took a step back.

"It probably doesn't like being called a lizard. It's an iguana. Actually it has a name, it's called Kilgarrah, which is a mouthful if you asked me." Slowly, she picked up the vegetables, popping them back in the bag.

"Why do we have an iguana? Surely, there's a clause in our agreement about bringing back other living things on a permanent basis."

As she dropped the last carrot into the bag, she smiled at Merlin. "He's here only on a temporary basis. I promised Gaius I would look after him for the weekend."

"Gaius, the one who lives upstairs?" Merlin opened the lid again and grinned at the iguana.

"Do you know another Gaius?"

"I think that if you promised him, then -"

Gwen opened her eyes pleadingly. "Please? He scares me." Her eyes drifted to Merlin's hand which was gently petting the iguana. "He seems to like you. Please."

"Oh fine," huffed Merlin as he lifted the box up. "Come on Kilgarrah. Let's get you settled in my room." He looked back just before he opened the door to his room. "Now you owe me."

_Saturday Morning _

Her heart still pounding from her morning run, Gwen pushed the door to the apartment open and removed her earphones.

"Merlin? I bought you breakfast!" Depositing the bag of muffins on the kitchen counter, she glanced quickly around their small apartment. Obviously, Merlin was still in bed. She jogged over to his room and rapped on the door. It was past 10am, far too late for that lazy bum to be still in bed. "Merlin! Rise and shine!"

She heard a grunt. Then the sound of cloth rustling. Then nothing.

"Merlin!" Gently, she pushed open the door. She was pretty sure Morgana wasn't inside - she usually left in the wee hours of the morning. "Merlin!"

Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness of his room, she found herself staring at the bulgy eyes of Kilgarrah. Her hands flew to her mouth to muffle the instinctual scream but it was too late. The lump under the blankets moved, groaned than sat up.

"Gwen?" Merlin stretched, showing off far too much of his shirtless body, then turned so he was facing her properly. "What's wrong?"

"I think Kilgarrah has escaped."

"What?" Confusion marred his features before he relaxed. "Oh Killy. Nah, the box was so sparse. I thought he'd be more comfortable in my bed."

Gwen opened her mouth, then closed it again when she realised she had nothing to say. "I'm not washing your sheets."

_Saturday Evening_

"No evening plans?" Merlin leaned casually against her door frame.

Gwen looked up from her canvas. "I was planning to finish this painting."

"I was going to bring Killy out for a walk so I thought you would want to come along. We can try that new café around the corner for dinner."

Gwen blinked at him.

"We'll just keep him in his bag. No one will be the wiser. Killy is very quiet, aren't you?" That was when Gwen saw the little bag Merlin had slung across him, the iguana's head peeping out. Absently, Merlin petted its head.

_Sunday Morning _

Gwen rubbed her eyes. "Merlin, walking forward is not a trick. And it's 7am in the morning. I did not need to be woken up for this."

"But he's doing it on demand. Watch!" Merlin whistled and on cue, Kilgarrah lumbered towards Merlin.

"You have lettuce in your hand."

With exaggerated dismay, Merlin turned on her. "I wouldn't walk towards you when you whistle even if you were holding a cupcake."

_Sunday Evening _

"Oh my god, you lost Kilgarrah?" Gwen dropped the spoon she was holding and turned from the stove. "Gaius will be coming home tonight!"

Merlin kept his gaze to the ground, scuffing his foot against the floor. "Maybe if you groveled a little?"

"Me? You lost him!" A bit of the pasta sauce from the spoon landed on her shirt as she waved the spoon around. She scowled.

"Yeah, but you promised Gaius -"

Something moved.

Gwen narrowed her eyes.

Merlin shuffled a little to his left.

Gwen leaned over.

"What's in your bag?"

"Nothing."

With her foot, she nudged the bag. It moved again. "Merlin. Is Kilgarrah in there?"

"We can't keep him?"

Gwen closed her eyes and sighed.


End file.
